The Year After (Jan 16, 2013)
So your girlfriend wrote about the first time you met, too. She talked about being meant to be together and how you two love each other. She posted it on Facebook, with a photo of you two clearly enjoying each other’s company. It hurts, and it sucks to admit that it does.
P.S. I “Liked” it.
The Year After (Jan 15, 2012)
It’s the middle of January. Fireworks have been lit, and drum beats are being played. To you, it probably is nothing special. Like any other year, you’ll go out, enjoy the street parties, and get wasted. For you it’s one more year of fun and celebration. To me, however, it means something else entirely.
This probably won’t ring a bell, but around this time a year ago was the first time our eyes met. I walked in through the office doors, dreading the day ahead, and you were sitting by the reception area, waiting for the human resources officer. My eyes wandered as I typed in my employee ID, somehow ending up in your direction. For a second or two, my eyes were met with a strong gaze. A pair of chinky eyes that held a subtle intensity were looking back at me. You’re beautiful eyes were looking back at me. It probably didn’t mean anything to you. It probably was just an accidental eye contact, but I knew then that I want more of it.
A few days later, you joined our team. Then I got more of those moments where I catch you looking at me, and yes, I used to secretly look at you too. We had a few small talks, but it wasn’t until the 20th when you sent me an IM for the first time. I didn’t know it then, but that first exchange of electronic messages was going to be the beginning of my undoing.
You probably have no idea what this month means to me—or what it could have meant to us. You probably don’t spend some nights wondering about what could’ve been and writing messages you’d never send. You probably don’t even think of me at all. A year after we met, I still spend my waking days alone, but I’ve never been lonelier. I’m just glad your happy though. At least one of us is.
Just When I Think I’m Through, I Miss You (Nov 27, 2012)
I hate being reminded of you, because I am also reminded of how I never really had you.
Six Weeks After (Aug 26, 2012)
I asked my friend about you, wanting to know how you’re doing at work, but the first thing she told me was how in love you are with your sweetheart. All I could do was nod in agreement. How foolish of me to think that you might miss me. Or that I even mattered to you.
Weeping Fool (June 12, 2012)
The truth I so long refused to see is now apparent. Everything was in my head, and now I cry for being a fool. I let myself believe a fantasy that could never come true, so now I face the consequences. Now I let my tears fall for something that was never there.